In order for a relationship to be successful it must be balanced - an even and equal distribution of rewards creating a stable and healthy environment in which each individual can function at their best (Walster Walster and Berscheid’s, 1978).
A balanced relationship has the potential to enrich our lives, enhance our feelings of self-worth, support us in our pursuit of personal goals, provide us with feelings of comfort and enable us to freely express love. They are “nurturing, stimulating and restorative” (Erskine, RG, Moursand, JP and Trautmann, RL; Beyond Empathy, p6)
Unbalanced relationships on the other hand are according to Homan’s Disruptive Justice Theory, one’s in which the costs and received rewards are disproportionate making one feel cheated. Unbalanced relationships may also become ineffectual, no longer fulfilling a need or they may be unhealthy in which one individual exerts power over another depleting that person of his or her energy and joy. Unbalanced relationships as a result can cause great personal distress.
The balance in relationships changes as we change and grow according to personal and external circumstances. Some of these changes are temporary and others permanent. Some long-term relationships such as marriage or the relationship between a mother and her child are flexible, adapting and growing with us. Others are only seasonal and eventually fall away. Trying to hold onto unbalanced relationships can be the cause of anxiety, fear, insecurity and conflict as one tries desperately to restore the balance. Resentment, anger, guilt, jealousy and even a critical attitude may result if one does not understand and accept the nature of these changing relationships.
A therapist’s role is to help their client accept the things they cannot change and to have the confidence and wisdom to change the relationships, including the one with themselves, that are unbalanced, unhealthy or harmful.
There is always a price to pay for unbalanced relationships. They deplete us of our energy and our enjoyment of life, they erode away at our confidence and prevent us from pursuing our dreams and fulfilling our potential. Ultimately they prevent us from functioning as a human, and of being in the world as a whole, fulfilled person.
If you are struggling in a relationship, be it with your partner, boss, work colleague, friend or even yourself, counselling can encourage you to explore areas in your life that are harmful, help you discover healthier ways of interacting with others and support you as you begin to make positive changes in your life.
We offer both couples and individual counselling.
If you would like to book your free 30 minute consultation, call us on 0783 4226 025 or email me at email@example.com
If you have any queries or wish to make a free 30 minute consultation, please contact Chalene:
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We offer face-face, skype or telephone appointments.
At the beginning of the year, my life took a dramatic change from what had been so happy. I tried to cope with it all, but couldn't and just didn't know what to do or how to resolve it. I decided to book some sessions with Chameleon Coaching and Therapy and thank goodness I did! The help that I recieved was amazing and now my life is back on track. I would recommend Chalene at Chameleon Coaching and Therapy to anyone- I can't and don't want to think where I would be if I hadn't made that appointment.
Once again THANK YOU so much. - Gillian
"Chalene has made me find myself again and helped to put my life into perspective. I will always be grateful to her,her calming voice and wonderful journeys that she has taken me on during my sessions. These new skills will stay with me always." - Lesely
Counselling for Anxiety
"I don't know what you are doing with him, but it seems to be working so far, he seems to be coping so much better." - A mum
Stop Smoking Hypnotherapy -
"7 weeks since my smoking cessation session and I’m still a non smoker, I am amazed at how simple and yet how effective the process was. Money well spent!" - Rob
"Just to let you know... no smoking... working well!" - David
" I'm so happy as I haven't touched one single cigarette, I've had cravings, but I've just not given in and it's been a lot easier with the hypnotherapy. Thanks again." - Keeley
"Still not smoking. It's been really easy. I've not had any cravings or been tempted at all so far." - Nicki
I'm still going strong, my congestion is going, my cough has gone, I'm starting to feel less cloudy in the head, my energy is improving. So those are the benefits so far, and it's only been a week!! It's the best thing I've ever done. Wish I'd done it years ago.' - Debs
Hypnotherapy for Weight Loss -
"I'd started losing weight whilst seeing you, and that's continued and whilst I'm still no veggie freak I'm eating so much less than before and never eat for the sake of it! It's been a revelation meeting you, your methods certainly work!" - Claire
Hypnotherapy for Anxiety and Stress -
"I sat my QTS Numeracy Test today and do you want to know the result.....
I passed :-) So happy :-)))))) Thanks so much for all your help... and for the excellent MP3 audio. It really helped." - Julie
Hynoptherapy for Public Speaking -
"I certainly learnt a lot about myself through the whole journey, and a lot of that was because of the work we did. You were fantastic thank you. I thoroughly enjoyed the sessions." - Charlotte
Hypnotherapy for Phobias
"I had my first prenatal appointment today and I'm very happy to report that I had my blood taken. No panic or fuss just a little bit nervous but had a great nurse that helped a million. I can't thank you enough for all your help with my 'old' phobia :) You have changed my life and now I can look forward to my pregnancy." - Lucy